Originally published in the The Theraplay® Institute Newsletter of Winter 1999/2000

WHAT IS THERAPLAY? HOW CAN IT HELP MY CHILD?

Janet Mullen, L.C.S.W.

Private Practice, Lombard, Illinois

Theraplay is a well-established modality for treating children with certain types of problems, such as problems connecting to significant adults or to other children, or problems connecting with their own emotions. There are as many reasons for why these problems develop as there are children. What matters is that there is a therapy which can help them.

The process of Theraplay is quite different from traditional child therapy. In traditional therapy, the child is invited to take the lead in expressing himself through play, art, or other means. There may be considerable discussion of his feelings, past issues, or current problems. In Theraplay, the therapist takes the lead and decides which activities will happen, and sets the pace for the session, of course taking into account the needs of the child. Whenever possible, parents or other significant caretakers are involved in this process and asked to extend the therapy with activities at home.

The Theraplay activities are intentionally simple. For example, the child may be asked to play games, blow bubbles, or allow himself to be fed. This may stir fears in some parents that their child is being treated younger than her age. However, the simplicity is necessary so that the child does not focus on learning a complex new game -- it is not about cognitive learning. Rather, the simplicity allows the full impact of the process to be felt by the child. Theraplay activities aim at creating a feeling of closeness between the child and parent, which is attained through activities in which the child experiences the adult as creating the structure (the rules, etc.) and also nurturing the child. The goal of therapy is that the child be more at ease with adults and other children, have less of a need to stay in charge, and be more spontaneously able to experience and express her feelings.

The Theraplay therapist also helps parents to understand the particular goals of the therapy for their own child, and to become comfortable with participating in the therapy as well as thinking of ways to bring these experiences into their home life.

Children’s responses to this therapy initially vary. Many children enjoy Theraplay from the beginning. Some are resistant and will tell you they don’t like it or don’t want to come. This is natural, if you consider that Theraplay may be challenging a way of coping they have come to rely upon. Given time, most children come to look forward to these sessions and enjoy them tremendously, as they learn that they can safely let another person take the lead. They also will respond more positively if they get the clear message from their parents that this is a positive, desirable experience. If parents have doubts, they should voice them to the therapist so that they can be resolved, otherwise the child will sense the hesitation and react to it.

You are invited to recall the pleasurable experiences of your own childhood -- of cuddling safely in a loved person’s arms, of getting a piggyback ride, of being taught something new with love and patience. These experiences are the foundation of our self-esteem and the reason we are able to form new and loving relationships. They are what Theraplay re-creates. We look forward to sharing this experience with you and your child.