Originally published in the The Theraplay® Institute Newsletter of Fall, 1995

Multi-Family Theraplay in a Shelter for the Homeless

Phyllis Rubin, M.A.

Oak Park, Illinois

My volunteer work in a shelter for homeless mothers and children presented a special challenge in adapting Theraplay Groups. I knew that the women felt undermined as mothers by homeless life in general and that mother-child attachment had suffered early-on. Additionally, relationships between residents and staff in the shelter could at times be tense and conflictual. I decided to try to strengthen the sense of family, to bring more cooperative, developmentally appropriate and guided play into the lives of the children, and to build opportunities for nurturing the mothers, the children, and the overworked and underpaid staff as well.

We began Group with a song that welcomed each family. (Tune: "Where is Thumbkin?")
(Mother and her children are covered with a blanket.)
Group: Where is (name of mother)'s family?
Where is (name of mother)'s family?
Family: Here we are. Repeat. (take off blanket)
Group: We're glad you came to play. Repeat.
Hello ___. (Group members name and shake hands with each family member.)

Each mother was given a small tube of lotion at the beginning of each session and, at the end, a plastic sandwich bag of bite-sized treats to share with her children. Because there were few toys for the children to occupy themselves with, very simple early childhood games were developed around homemade "toys" that could be taken home after sessions. Toilet paper tubes were for finding and making eye contact with mothers and peers. Small rectangles of cardboard made perfect hide-behinds for peek-a-boo with siblings and adults.

Mothers made hand or foot prints of their family on construction paper to take back to their units. At Christmas, the mothers decorated their children with ribbon, tinsel, stickers, and coffee filter "hats" for Polaroid pictures of each family. I made "warm fuzzies" (a homemade yarn pom-pom) for each family and staff member; these were used to pass a gentle touch around the circle. The children got group rides in a large box or laundry basket, and used phone book paper squeezed into balls for throwing into baskets made by their mother's arms. Other nurturing games were passing around a cuddly doll to hug, and each family admiring themselves in a mirror.

In this setting characterized by depression, frustration, hopelessness, conflict, and chaos, children had many adults who "parented" them, but few adults who playfully interacted in a way that met the children's needs. The mothers said that Theraplay Groups helped them learn that it was okay to play with their children. The groups also gave the children games that they subsequently played on their own with each other, for which the Moms were also grateful. My next goal is to do a Theraplay group for the mothers alone.